Momentum Podcast: 114

The Quitting Fantasy

by Alex Charfen

Introduction

The quitting fantasy. It happens to all of us and it happens at different times in our lives, and sometimes it happens when we least expect it. I call it the quitting fantasy. It doesn't take much sometimes, and sometimes it takes a lot. You might be having a bad day, a bad week. You have a bad conversation with a client, followed by a bad conversation with one of your team members, followed by frustration and irritation that makes you feel like you've lost momentum, and it doesn't matter where you are in your entrepreneurial career, if there's enough things that pile up in the short-term to create tactical urgency and make you feel overwhelmed, you will experience the quitting fantasy.

Episode Description

It happened to every entrepreneur or I know, including me.

You maybe having a bad week, a series of bad calls, challenges in your business or your personal life, maybe even issues with your team and then…

A small voice in the back of your head says “maybe I should just quit.””

What you are quitting it depends on where you are. For some it will be quit and go back and get a job. For others it will be quit fire the team and go back to working by yourself. If you have a team, it may be quit growing it and go back to where it was manageable.

It doesn't matter which have, none of them are real.

Quitting is just a fantasy for people like us.

Full Audio Transcript

I'm Alex Charfen, and this is the Momentum Podcast, made for empire builders, game-changers, trail-blazers, shot-takers, record-breakers, world-makers, and creators of all kinds, those among us who can't turn it off and don't know why anyone would want to. We challenge complacency, destroy apathy, and we are obsessed with creating momentum so we can roll over bureaucracy and make our greatest contribution.Sure, we pay attention to their rules, but only so that we can bend them, break them, then rewrite them around our own will. We don't accept our destiny. We define it. We don't understand defeat because you only lose if you stop, and we don't know how. While the rest of the world strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo, we are the minority, the few who are willing to hallucinate there could be a better future, and instead of just daydreaming of what could be, we endure the vulnerability and exposure it takes to make it real. We are the evolutionary hunters, clearly the most important people in the world because entrepreneurs are the only source of consistent positive human evolution, and we always will be.

The quitting fantasy. It happens to all of us and it happens at different times in our lives, and sometimes it happens when we least expect it. I call it the quitting fantasy. It doesn't take much sometimes, and sometimes it takes a lot. You might be having a bad day, a bad week. You have a bad conversation with a client, followed by a bad conversation with one of your team members, followed by frustration and irritation that makes you feel like you've lost momentum, and it doesn't matter where you are in your entrepreneurial career, if there's enough things that pile up in the short-term to create tactical urgency and make you feel overwhelmed, you will experience the quitting fantasy.

It's that thing in our head, that voice that says, "This is getting pretty hard. I'm overwhelmed. Maybe I should just quit." You know you felt it. I have. You know you've heard it. I know every one of my clients has. It's that voice that says, "Hey, maybe you should quit what you're doing." Or, "Maybe you should just quit and get rid of your team and go back to doing it all yourself." Or, "Maybe you should just shrink the team back down to the last time you felt it was manageable." Or, "Maybe you should just go get a job," the ultimate entrepreneurial surrender.

Let's be honest, if you're listening to my podcast, and you've made it through over 100 episodes and you're still listening, then quitting is just a fantasy for people like us. We don't quit. We can't turn it off. We can't slow it down. We can't shut it down. Any attempt to do anything but go forward at the speed that you know you're capable of is going to drive you crazy. When that little voice inside your head comes up and says, "Maybe I should just quit," you should do with it what entrepreneurs throughout history have done with it. Stuff it down. Tell it to go away.

Shut it up through performing at the absolute highest level you can, because that voice in our heads, that evil little voice trying to convince us we aren't who we are, that imposter voice trying to tell us that we're not good enough, we can't do it, we shouldn't do it, we should just quit and go back, that is the voice of constrain. That is the voice against the evolutionary hunter. That is the voice that is trying to tell you who you are, and I demand that you shut it down and show it exactly what you're made out of, because here's a fact about being like us.

When you're one of the people in the world who doesn't take no for an answer, when you're one of the people in the world who is driven to create new outcomes and move forward, when you're one of the people in the world that was born to improve this planet and everything on it, when you're one of the people in the world who was made to create new outcomes, show people the way, make things happen, and create results all for yourself, you are always going to be hounded by the quitting fantasy, because here's the fact about people like us.

The harder we push ourselves, the more we do, the more we accomplish, the more we create, the more people we help, the more on edge we are living. The bigger our team gets, the more new people we're dealing with. The more outcomes get, the more achievement we're dealing with. The bigger our product our company gets, the more of a market and a clientele and a responsibility we are dealing with. So it always feels like we are teetering right on the edge of everything coming down on us, and so I want you to now listen to that little quitting fantasy in a different way.

When you get to the point where things are so overwhelming it feels like you can't really breathe, when you get to the point where it feels like there's just too much going on, when you get to the point where it feels like you couldn't take one more thing, and that little voice comes up and says, "Hey, maybe I should just quit," I want you to instinctively, reactively, and immediately understand exactly what that is.

That is the voice of the universe telling you you are exactly where you should be, because when we feel like we should quit, that means we pushed ourselves all the way to the limit, and by pushing ourselves to the limit, it's how people like you and I grow. Throughout history, evolutionary hunters have gotten up and said, "What's on the other side of that mountain? How big can we make this? How much better can we make things? How much greater can we make this outcome? How much more can we do with what we have?" When you are that person, when you are that individual that in every room you've ever been in and in every situation you've ever seen and every feeling you've ever had there's that massive part of you that says, "Make it bigger, make it greater, go forward, and let's see what we can do," you are meant to be on the edge of quitting.

So here's my question for you. If you haven't heard that voice in a while, if you haven't had that feeling of, "Maybe I should just quit," if you haven't pushed yourself so hard that you feel like you're on that edge, if you haven't increased the level of vulnerability that you must exist with in the world in order to continue to move forward to the point where it feels like you can't do it anymore, then I'll ask you: Why not? Because you know and I know that people like us are satisfied by one thing and one thing only: Momentum, moving forward, achieving, making things happen, creating new outcomes in the world, leaving our mark in this universe.

And if you haven't heard that small suggestive voice telling you that you are on edge, telling you that you are taking things to the limit, telling you that you are living at the edge of vulnerability, maybe the edge of sanity, because it's telling you to quit, my challenge to you is, how fast can you get there? Because if you're going to make your dent in the universe, if you're going to make the change in the world that you dream of, if you're going to make your outcomes happen, if you're going to change the world for the better in the way you know you always could, then you must push yourself to the limit, and the voice telling you to quit isn't a warning.

It's a confirmation that you're doing everything right, because when you're one of those people like me and like every one of my clients and like my wife and like my kids and like every entrepreneur I've ever respected, who will never be comfortable just sitting around and dealing with the status quo, if you're one of those people who is driven to make new outcomes and to make things better, if you're one of those people that won't slow down and doesn't know why anyone would want to, and if you're one of those people who's ready to make it happen, then I have a challenge for you. Get yourself to the edge of where it feels like it's too much, and stay there. Build the infrastructure you need to live there. Build the infrastructure you need to exist there.

Build the infrastructure you need so that every day you are growing yourself, your business, the people around you, and the contribution you're making to the point where it feels like it's almost too much, because that is the exact place where entrepreneurs know we are fully alive, we are making it happen, and we are in momentum, because anything less makes us feel like we're standing still. If you haven't felt like you wanted to quit lately, lean in, push harder, increase the vulnerability with what you're dealing with, people, be more transparent, let people know what's really going on, and get the heck out of your comfort zone, because the magic happens in the place where you haven't been.

And if you've been comfortable for a while, it's time to get vulnerable and real, and get yourself out there, because the voice that says quit is our friend. The voice that says quit lets us know we're in the right place. The voice that says quit is confirmation that we are forging a new path, going down a way that nobody has before, going through corridors and doors that no one has ever opened or unlocked, and when you are there, you know you are creating in the world. Do it for you, do it for me, and do it for everyone you will help in the future. Take yourself to the edge of the quitting fantasy, and when that voice rears up to tell you you're doing too much and maybe it's time to slow down and you've gone too far, you know you're in exactly the right place.

If you're ready to create more momentum in 2018 than you ever thought possible, learn how to cope with the issues that we create as entrepreneurs. Learn how to create momentum in the eye of the storm. Learn how to be present, aware, focused, and ready to take on more, regardless of what's happening around you, because if you're ready to create the business, the outcomes, the team, and the massive effect you know you can, it's going to happen sooner or later, so start protecting yourself now.

Go to charfen.com/meditate, charfen.com/meditate and download my Meditation Starter Quit. If you haven't started meditating and getting present and aware, check it out, and if you don't think you can meditate, I've got a bet with you. Download my Meditation Starter Quit, try one of my two-minute meditations, and if it doesn't have a profound effect on your ability to create presence, you're going to be one of the first people that's ever been there. Tactical meditation is a game-changer. It will help you achieve more, create more, be more present, and tell that little voice that wants you to quit that you're in exactly the right place and have the confidence to take the next step. Charfen.com/meditate.

Thank You For Listening!

I am truly grateful that you have chosen to spend your time listening to me and my podcast.

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With gratitude,

Alex

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