Momentum Podcast: 168

Let Go And Grow With Nicole Moore

by Alex Charfen

Introduction

Last week, I had massive, overwhelming anxiety. Here's why, I was sick. I was actually sick from before the 1st of July, until about Saturday or Sunday, so over seven days. 

Episode Description

In order to grow your company you are going to have to let go and allow your team to succeed. This is one of the hardest transitions for an entrepreneur to make. When we start our business we have to do everything by definition in order to be successful. The transition to doing less than everything is never an easy one. Nicole Moore, the CEO of Love Works Is making this transition in a profound way and I'm sure you will appreciate her insights.

Full Audio Transcript

I'm Alex Charfen and this is the momentum podcast. Made for empire builders, game changers, trail blazers, shot takers, record breakers, world makers, and creators of all kinds. Those among us who can't turn it off and don't know why anyone would want to. We challenge complacency, destroy apathy, and we are obsessed with creating momentum so we can roll over bureaucracy and make our greatest contribution.

Sure we pay attention to their rules, but only so that we can bend them, break them, then rewrite them around our own will. We don't accept our destiny, we define it. We don't understand defeat because you only lose if you stop. And we don't know how.

While the rest of the world strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo, we are the minority, the few, who are willing to hallucinate there could be a better future and instead of just daydreaming of what could be, we endure the vulnerability and exposure it takes to make it real. We are the evolutionary hunters. Clearly the most important people in the world because entrepreneurs are the only source of consistent, positive, human evolution and we always will be. Let go and grow.

The companies that we have in our high-end mastermind are absolutely amazing, the ones that I'm working with directly. I know they're amazing. I've talked to every single one of them before they joined the program. I have a personal conversation to make sure that they fit and the reason is, I want to be able to work with these people to help them grow their businesses, but not just grow businesses, grow empires. And one of those people is Nicole Moore and her husband, Mike.

Now Nicole is an intense entrepreneur. She actually coaches women how to find love. And here's the thing about that type of coaching. I've known a lot of coaches who are dating, or relationship, or that type of coach, and I've had a really hard time with most of them because most of them ... it's some type of weird NLP or they're teaching gimmicks on how to get people to pay attention to you. And it's not the real thing that lets us find the person we want.

And Nicole takes a holistic approach. She looks at the human being. She has a system that really works. It's called Love Works. I think it's loveworksmethod.com. And I'm just excited to be working with her because she is showing women how to go out and find love, but by learning how to love themselves and learning how to know why they are strong. And so when I listen to her talk about her work it just gets me excited.

And recently I had a conversation with her and I just wanted to ask her a few questions about what has been most dramatic for her recently in growing, and what have been the changes that she's made that have helped her business the most. Because I think that for you listening, hearing from an entrepreneur who is scaling a company quickly, who is using the right approach, and who is actually succeeding in the moment. Like we're looking at the numbers. The success is there. I want you to hear exactly what she's doing for perspective.

So, as you listen to Nicole explain this, listen to how she's doing things, exactly what she's doing. And then ask yourself how does this apply to your business, to what you're doing right now? Because regardless of where you are as an entrepreneur, I made certain I asked questions in a way that you're going to get something out of this. So, it's my pleasure to introduce you to our Grow and Scale client, Nicole Moore.

Nicole, I'm so excited to have you here and thanks for joining me to record a quick episode of the podcast.

Nicole Moore:

Yeah, I'm super excited to be here.

Alex Charfen:

It's been awesome working with you and Mike and your company. So give us an idea. So how long have we been working together? It's really short right now.

Nicole Moore:

Just a couple months.

Alex Charfen:

A couple months. And in a couple months, how much has your business grown, shifted, or changed?

Nicole Moore:

Dramatically. So, the biggest result is me. I feel so much less stressed. Already my team is supporting me so much more because really I've learned how to let them. I didn't know how to let them support me. I didn't know it was my job to teach my team how to succeed. And so I really stepped into this new role from your guidance of my job as the CEO is really to support the people around me so they can do the best in their position and I can help them win. And by helping them win, I win. And that's been such a complete game changer because I was struggling feeling like I had to do everything on my own in my business. I have too many things on my plate. I have a team, but why am I still feeling like at the end of the day everything is my responsibility, and I'm kind of busting at the seams?

Alex Charfen:

So, Nicole, for someone who is listening who's like, "Oh my gosh. I want to feel exactly like she does." What was that big difference? What was the shift that made it so that you felt like ... well, it sounds like you felt like you were kind of working for your team, to your team actually working with you and accomplishing together?

Nicole Moore:

Yeah. So, what you told me to do was I can't just give tasks to my team and be this task master. I have to talk to them about what the outcome is that I want them to provide, and then give them the framework. This is where I want you to go. This is what success at the end of the project looks like, or the task looks like, and then empowering them to go ahead and do it.

I thought I was like super chill person. I'm not a micro manager. And then I realized like no, I'm really taking too much ownership of theses tasks. So, when I switched from just let me check in. Did you do this or not? To let me actually give you ownership of this. Let me tell you what success looks like at the end and then help you walk that path. Everything changed. And then checking with the team daily. I wasn't doing that daily on the phone, [inaudible 00:05:57] has been a complete and utter game changer. Mostly because I'm not bottle necking as much because I have to get things to my team daily now because we're talking every morning.

Alex Charfen:

Yeah, it's hard to hide from your responsibilities to the team too, right?

Nicole, you just perfectly described the shift from transactional management to transformational leadership. That's that transactional is telling people what to do, checking it got done, and telling them what to do again. It's exhausting. And until you know better, you think it's the best way. And then what you just described is transactional. Giving people clear outcomes, coaching success along the way, and getting leveraged results. I share with entrepreneurs that when you shift from transactional to transformational, the person who really transforms is you. It's only been a couple of months. How would you say that fits you?

Nicole Moore:

Perfectly. Perfectly. For me I had to give up, I had to give up a lot of I felt like trust, right? But luckily I see that you've done it, so I'm like okay. I know this works. I have to just trust him because he's scaled way bigger than I have. And I know you've done it in so many different companies. So I just said, "Okay. I have to trust this. I have to give up the way that I'm doing it." Because I reached that point where it's enough pain."

Not only in me, I see it in my employees. You know my husband, Mike. He is really in the COO position. He's in the sales manager position. And yesterday we had two sales come in and he was beaming all day because he did that. I wasn't controlling the entire process.

And what happened was he came up with this brilliant idea. We've been figuring out how to make the sales go better for a while, as you know. And he came up with this brilliant idea. And it kind of dropped into his hat, and it's been having our conversions go through the roof. And I don't think he would have done that if I was breathing down his neck. Like, "What's happening with the sales?" So letting him really feel like I'm in ownership of this rather than me, I thought, "Sales is me. Sales is me. Sales is me." Letting him do that really created space for his genius to come through, which I think was so necessary for him to really feel really good in his position.

Alex Charfen:

Nicole, I tell entrepreneurs [inaudible 00:08:08], if you want people to be responsible, you have to give them responsibility. Does that resonate?

Nicole Moore:

Yeah. Totally. Totally. And there have been some growing pains, right? But I feel like by letting go I can see the end vision of things getting so much better. So now I'm more willing to deal with the hiccups along the way because I feel like with your support I have the framework to make everything better.

So, before it felt like if I give up control, things don't get done the way I want them to and then I'm kind of like left over here trying to scramble and figure it out. But now I feel so much more connected to the end vision of where we're going and that has me have peace in the particular moments where there may be a hiccup. Because you really have taught me how to actually communicate with my team so those breakdown moments are not a breakdown, they're moving to a breakthrough.

Alex Charfen:

Yeah, no doubt. Nicole, gosh, this is so awesome.

You know, I knew when you and I first talked a few months ago and you joined the program that you were gonna be unique and apply at a rate that's faster than most. But, to have these types of just transformations in the first two months is incredible. I can't wait to see where you take this. When you look at the other members of your team, what has it done for you to know that you can choose the outcome and coach success along the way instead of having to obsess around the process everybody's gonna use? Has that made it easier for you to see bigger outcomes for your company?

Nicole Moore:

Yeah. Absolutely. Like I said, I now feel like the solution to our sales team that came in is gonna be such a game changer for our company, in particular. And I feel more relaxed, and I know it's having an impact on the team. Right? Because they're starting to feel more relaxed.

I didn't realize how much my stress was impacting the people around me. And you know, I work with my husband. And so I just didn't realize it. I was kind of was operating as if I was alone, and my feelings it didn't impact everyone. And [inaudible 00:10:08] emotionally responsible being, but, you taught me this actually, that your team really feels the stress that you're feeling and then they don't feel safe. And so ever since I heard that I've been really thinking about that and really letting them take ownership, has me be less stressed. Then I can actually take care of myself, which I wasn't' doing. Which, I am now seeing that that is actually going to give me a big return.

So yesterday I did work, but I also took a bath in the middle of the day. And literally while I was doing that we had $10,000 in sales come in. They were not from me. They were from my sales team because my husband, Mike, now in his new position [inaudible 00:10:50] ownership. He coached that salesperson to go make those big sale. And I was just sitting there in the bath and I'm like, "This is pretty cool. Like I am actually doing it. I'm relaxing." I work hard, of course, but I'm relaxing and letting the results come in that I've been building, rather than gripping everything so tightly and then like, "Why am I so stressed all the time?" You know?

Alex Charfen:

Right. Isn't it crazy, Nicole? You said it already a couple of times, but I just want to reflect it back to you. The more you're willing to seed control and believe in the people around you, the more they just live up to that belief.

Nicole Moore:

Mm-hmm (affirmative), mm-hmm (affirmative). And something that you said is you should hire true believers. Right? And so I've been thinking about that and it actually has made me appreciate my team so much more. My husband, Mike, is a true believer. [crosstalk 00:11:38]

Alex Charfen:

Of course. He's the first believer.

Nicole Moore:

He is, he is. But it's even having me see ... like my executive assistant, April. I mean, yesterday we were having to tell her, "You don't have to check emails like the middle of the night." And she's just so motivated and she's been messaging me about how much she believes in the company and how much she believes in me and I'm going, "Okay good. I have true believers on my team." And so I'm seeing that so much more.

I think before I was really focused on what everyone was doing wrong. And I'm a positive person but in this area of my life I really felt like I was so focused on the mistakes. And then I was feeling like there was mistakes being made and it was having me have this feeling of anxiety and pressure. And now I feel like I'm focused on a different thing. I'm focused on seeing how they are true believers, how they are doing all this work for me and really it's what I've realized is that it's me that needs to change to make the company grow. And I really was like, "Oh whoa. My team sucks." Or just criticizing them. Right? Because that's part of what we do when we get to this point. But it really is the change within me that then seeds the change for everyone else around me.

Alex Charfen:

Oh, Nicole. I'm so excited for you in this next year. Just real quick so that everybody has context. Will you share what your business is, what you do, and how somebody can go take a look at what you do in the world? Because I think you're amazing, and I want to say something after you share.

Nicole Moore:

Yeah. So, my business is called Love Works. So, what we do is we are a love coaching company. So, our mission in the world is to help primarily single women who are amazing. It's like the woman who should have a relationship, and a husband ,and a family, and all of that, but she doesn't. And we help those women stop the pain, stop getting in their own way, and actually attract in a really, really, really amazing man. And what I've seen is that when we help this woman find her [inaudible 00:13:28], it's about so much more. Because she starts relating with the world in a different way. She starts relating with the world in love.

So, we have a mission to raise the consciousness of the planet to really spread love through single women finding love. Because when they do, they love everyone else more. So, that's what we do. It started out as just me, right, behind a computer, and now we have nine employees. Well, we have nine people working for us. We have a sales team, we have assistant coaches, we have a COO, we have a really great team. And where you can find us is loveworksmethod.com.

Alex Charfen:

Nicole, I just want to say one last thing for everybody who's listening. You know, I've probably talked to 20 or 30 different business owners who are in Nicole's space, in the dating space. And I've told you this before, Nicole. When we first talked I was like, "Oh, man. A dating company. There's no way this is gonna work out." Really. Because everybody who I've talked to so far, and maybe I've just ran into the wrong ones, I'm sure there's other people like you in the industry. But, just so many of them that I've talked to, it's felt like tricks and frameworks and NLP type stuff to fool people into either dating you or sleeping with you. Let's be honest. That's what I've seen in the market. And you know what I love about your approach is it's holistic. You actually help the human being who is looking for love in the world to help love themselves more so they go out and find it.

And, Nicole, you inspire me. I love working with you and Mike, and I can't thank you enough for taking the time to do this today.

Nicole Moore:

Thank you.

Alex Charfen:

I hope you enjoyed that. I absolutely love working with entrepreneurs like Nicole. So, if you are a entrepreneur that has a business that has hit at least $83,000 a month in run rate, so you've hit a million dollar run rate month, you are on your way towards growth, you've created an opportunity, you know there's more there, you want to build the team and the infrastructure around you and do it right so that you can actually take advantage of this opportunity, reach out to us. Someone on my team will get back to you. And if you qualify, we will set up a call and see if you can join Nicole and the other people in the Grow and Scale program.

Thank You For Listening!

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With gratitude,

Alex

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