Momentum Podcast: 311

Haters Confirm Greatness

by Alex Charfen

Introduction

Since you're a Momentum Podcast listener, I know you're one of those people who's gonna make things happen in the world. Who's gonna go out create change, create progress, help the people around you and get into momentum.

But here's what that means, as soon as you do, the haters are going to come out and you're going to be shocked.

Episode Description

Here’s what I know as an entrepreneur, when you go out and create a following you have to be polarizing. A lot of people will fall in love with what you’re saying and really listen but for every person who loves you, you’re going to have people who show up and hate on you. There’s no way to avoid the haters if you expect to do anything significant. When somebody goes to battle against you I want you to see it as confirmation that you are going in exactly the right direction. Hardwire this, haters confirm greatness.

Full Audio Transcript

Since you're a Momentum Podcast listener, I know you're one of those people who's gonna make things happen in the world. Who's gonna go out create change, create progress, help the people around you and get into momentum. But here's what that means, as soon as you do, the haters are going to come out and you're going to be shocked.

A few years ago, I was at an event where Daymond John was speaking. And just to give you some recollection, Daymond John is one of the Shark Tank sharks. He also is the guy who partnered with the company called Samsung, like one of the hugest companies in the world, partnered with them on the clothing line FUBU. He's also an entrepreneur who's done a lot of other stuff and I was at a conference where he was one of the speakers.

He was doing a Q&A and there was an interesting question, one that I thought was a little weird and even maybe a little racially motivated and felt odd when it was asked. But Daymond handled it so well and his answer was so profound. I actually remember writing down a ton of notes after he was done. The question he was asked from the audience was, what have you learned from rap artists about business? And I remember thinking, what a weird question to ask. Daymond took a second, like looked down for a second, thought about it and then he said, "Here's what I'll tell you. Haters confirm greatness." I was like, what is he saying?

I remember him expanding on it. He said, "Here's what I've learned about rap stars, the most popular rap stars are the ones that everybody else hates on. And if nobody's talking about you as a rapper, that means you're not that important, not that significant. So the fact is, haters confirm greatness. And it's not just in rap music, it's everywhere. When people are hating on you, that means you've created enough attention to have people love you, and so every time someone says something derogatory, says something against you, talks down to you anywhere, even online or in person or anywhere else, you just have to remember that's a hater and haters confirm greatness."

I remember thinking what a profound and incredible way to answer that question. I was so excited to hear it because here's what we all know as entrepreneurs. The second you go out and start saying something different than the rest of the world, the second you go out and start showing who you really are and what you really want to do, the second you go out and you start making a population of people fall in love with you, here's what you have to understand. Is that the population of people who fall in love with you is going to be sitting there with the population of people who end up hating you.

I want you to know something, there is no way to avoid this if you expect to do anything that's significant. Haters will be there. They will always be there. They're going to overwhelm you sometimes with how much they come out of the woodwork. And I'll tell you personally, I've heard some of the craziest stuff online. I've had people call me a middle-aged balding guy holed up in my bedroom, I've had people say all I care about is my designer beard, I've had people say that I use my kids for marketing and I should be a better father. People have asked if I wear dentures, if my teeth are real, if my hair is real. They've accused me of having a rented house with rented cars all of which are just crazy. And they've got a lot deeper and a lot meaner than that. You should hear some of the things that I've gotten.

But here's what I know ever since I heard Daymond John speak that day. Is that when we go out and we create a following, we have to be polarizing. Polarizing means people either fall in love with you and listen to you or they just decide not to and go away, or as for every person who falls in love with you and listens to you and shares about you and tells people about you, you're going to have people who show up and hate on you. Because here's what you have to know about success. The second you start creating a level of success for you and for your clients and for the people around you, you are going to be a reflection of what a lot of people don't have and they want. You are going to be a reflection of what a lot of people wish they could create in their lives but don't know how, and you're going to be a reflection of the reality that most people want in their lives.

But those who don't see a path, those who can't see it happening, those who are so negative in their own limiting self beliefs that they think that your success is impossible for them are going to come out and hate on you. And every time it happens, I want you to start using every hater you get as a confirmation that you are moving towards or you are in a period of greatness. Because when you polarize hard enough and when you are shocking enough and when you are different enough, then not only you cut through the noise for the people who you want to attract, but you cut through the noise for the people who are polarized against you, that is when you know you are actually making massive change in the world. That is when you know you're attracting the tribe that you want. That is when you know you are pulling the right people towards you.

So I want you to start thinking about something, if there aren't any haters, then you're probably doing something wrong. It might be why your business isn't growing. You might not be being aggressive enough. I always think, if I haven't made at least one or two people uncomfortable on a daily basis, then I'm probably not trying hard enough. Because as entrepreneurs, we are the reflection of what other people don't have. When we start creating success, there's going to be two types of people. The ones who think they can get there and are inspired by us and the people who think that they can't and have to make fun of us or talk down to us or say terrible things about us.

I can tell you this doesn't just happen to me, it happens to all of my clients. So there is a commonality here, that the more people who hate on you the more you are creating a paradigm of success, the more you are creating a new view of success, the more you are polarizing the people around you. So just like Daymond said, it made so much sense when he said, the rappers who are most important, the ones who are mostly significant, they are the ones who draw the most negativity because they're also drawing the most attention and positivity in the world. The same thing goes for you as an entrepreneur.

The more you draw negativity, it means that on the flip side of that coin, you are drawing people towards you, you are getting them excited about you, you are showing them a new way, a new path, a new way forward. And so whenever you hear something negative about yourself, I want you to hardwire a new connection in your brain, haters confirm greatness. When somebody makes fun of you, haters confirm greatness. When somebody puts a mean comment on one of your Facebook posts or on a Facebook ad, and believe me, I get them all the time, haters confirm greatness. When somebody says something about you at an event and you overhear it and they make fun of you, haters confirm greatness. Hardwire that message for yourself.

Because here's what I know after over 20 years of working with entrepreneurs, the bigger effect you have, the bigger momentum you create, the more of a challenge you put out to the world, and the more success you have, the more the haters will come out and you have to understand that haters confirm greatness. I always say, if you haven't made a few people uncomfortable before breakfast, then you probably aren't working hard enough as an entrepreneur. And this is one of those connections that take so long for so many of us to make.

I remember there was a point in time in my career where I wanted everyone to like me. I remember even thinking that like, how do I get everyone to like me? Well, you know what, I had a realization one day. You know what the things are that everyone in the world likes, air and breathing and being able to just be and stuff that really isn't polarizing at all. Like, all of us need oxygen but none of us are willing to pay for it. All of us need water but none of us are willing to pay for it. Well, some of us pay for bottled water.

But the things that everybody wants are the things that are benign, are the things that don't matter, are the things that really no one cares about. And the most important things in the world are the things that people will go to battle for. So when somebody goes to battle against you, I want you to see it as confirmation that you are going in exactly the right direction. Hardwire this, haters confirm greatness. If you're ready to understand yourself better than you ever have before, go to Free Momentum Book right now. Get a copy of the Entrepreneurial Personality Type.

Let me show you three things, one let me help you understand yourself better than you ever have before. Two, let me show you how to stop limiting behaviors in your life and three, let me show you how people like us create momentum today and on going so it's not even optional, it's just a part of who you are. Don't let anybody convince you that momentum or flow or that state of being in the right place is temporary, it's not. It's a place where you can live and I want to help you get there. Go to freemomentumbook.com, download the Entrepreneurial Personality Type and you will see everything change. While you're there or while you're online, do a search on my name and you'll see there's plenty of haters out there. And just remember, haters confirm greatness. Freemomentumbook.com.

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With gratitude,

Alex

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