Momentum Podcast: 665

When it Feels Like You Are Drowning

by Alex Charfen

Introduction

We help entrepreneurs around the world grow and scale their businesses in our coaching memberships. One of the comments or questions we get often today is, “What do I do when I feel like I'm drowning?” There's no question why so many of us are feeling this way today. The world is arguably more confusing and overwhelming than it has been in a very long time. And there's a ton of conflict happening around us. In this episode of the Momentum Podcast, Alex is going to share a very simple three-step process to help you get out of those feelings and back into momentum fast. This is the same advice that we share with our members. Some of it'll feel counterintuitive if you're in a moment of reactivity, but what we understand is that this process works and it'll change everything about how you respond to challenges. I hope you enjoy

Episode Description

We help entrepreneurs around the world grow and scale their businesses in our coaching memberships. One of the comments or questions we are getting often today is “what do I do when I feel like I am drowning?” Variations of this question are when I feel like I am falling? When I feel accelerated? When I feel reactive?
There is no question why so many of us are feeling this way today. The world is arguably more confusing and overwhelming than it has been in a long time. There's more conflict around us than I have ever felt in my life.
For us as entrepreneurs, the faster we can get out of these feelings and back into momentum, the better we feel and the more we accomplish. In the video, I share the advice we share with our members, some of it will feel counterintuitive if you are in a moment of reactivity, but we know from helping hundreds of entrepreneurs, this work will change everything about how you respond to challenges.

Full Audio Transcript

Alex Charfen: This is the Momentum Podcast.

Speaker 2: We help entrepreneurs around the world grow and scale their businesses in our coaching memberships. One of the comments or questions we get often today is, "What do I do when I feel like I'm drowning?" There's no question why so many of us are feeling this way today. The world is arguably more confusing and overwhelming than it has been in a very long time. And there's a ton of conflict happening around us. In this episode of the Momentum Podcast, Alex is going to share a very simple three-step process to help you get out of those feelings and back into momentum fast. This is the same advice that we share with our members. Some of it'll feel counterintuitive if you're in a moment of reactivity, but what we understand is that this process works and it'll change everything about how you respond to challenges. I hope you enjoy.

Alex Charfen: I'm Alex Charfen, and this is the Momentum Podcast, made for empire builders, game-changers, trailblazers, shot takers, record breakers, world makers, and creators of all kinds. Those among us who can't turn it off and don't know why anyone would want to. We challenge complacency, destroy apathy, and we are obsessed with creating momentum so we can roll over bureaucracy and make our greatest contribution. Sure, we pay attention to their rules, but only so that we can bend them, break them, then rewrite them around our own will. We don't accept our destiny. We define it. We don't understand defeat because you only lose if you stop. And we don't know how. While the rest of the world strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo, we are the minority, the few who are willing to hallucinate there could be a better future. And instead of just daydreaming of what could be, we endure the vulnerability and exposure it takes to make it real. We are the evolutionary hunters. Clearly the most important people in the world, because entrepreneurs are the only source of consistent, positive human evolution. And we always will be.

So this recording is inspired by a question I got from Deanna, who runs our coaching team. And she reached out to me this week and said, "On a lot of our group membership calls, there's a comment or question that's coming up over and over again. And it's a question of, 'What do I do when I feel like I'm drowning? What do I do when I feel like I'm falling, I'm reactive, I'm accelerated?'" Right now in the world, there is so much going on that, let's get real, it is no surprise at all that so many entrepreneurs are feeling like they're drowning, or accelerated, or falling, or just overwhelmed in general. And there's a lot of ways to handle overwhelm.

A In fact, if you want to go to my website, charfen.com, go to the podcast tab and do a search on overwhelm equation, I'll give you the equation we use for overwhelm. But in this podcast... Actually, it'll give you the equation we use for overwhelm, and this is the punch line. It will show you how to turn overwhelm into confidence. Not overwhelm into I'm okay, but overwhelm into confidence. The same energy you're overwhelmed with into confidence in the moment. But here's the issue. That's something that works in the moment. And in order to stay in momentum, in order to stay out of overwhelm, you have to change what's going on around you. And you have to prepare yourself, especially in a time period like we're in now.

So let's get real about what's going on right now. I'm 47 years old. I'm a very observant, sometimes too observant, too sensitive person, but this is the highest level of conflict I've seen in my lifetime. There's more radicalized people around me than I've ever seen. By radicalized, I mean they won't listen to any contrary opinion. They won't even discuss contrary opinions. They are steadfast. They're completely radicalized. It's like this is where it's going. And that creates a tremendous amount of stress. There's this virus socioeconomic issue that's going on, where, for some, it's medical fear, for some it's economic fear, for some it's the fear of the unknown, and that is causing a tremendous amount of pressure and noise for us, especially as entrepreneurs. Because for a lot of us, it's either dramatically or absolutely totally affected our business.

But every business I know has been affected in some way. Now, some are growing like crazy. And even those where there's crazy unbridled growth, it can get a little reactive and overwhelming there too. And we are entering what promises to be, just through observation and through study, an energetically incredibly difficult period in the world. There's a tremendous amount of conflict. And when I look at the upcoming election, to me, I'm not part of either political party in the United States. I've always found the two-party system very confusing. Each party has stuff that conflicts with my belief systems. And when I look at the two sets of candidates that we have running, I believe that regardless of which one wins, we are entering into a prolonged state of conflict in the United States, and it looks like a prolonged state of conflict in the world.

Even when you talk to people who look at energetics and astrology and study those types of things, they will tell you that right now, we are entering into a prolonged state of conflict and difficult energy and frustration and confusion. And so when we're entering a place like this, when we're in a place like this, when you feel those things yourself, regardless of what's going on in the world, when you feel those things yourself, it's important that we take stock and that we start to fortify ourselves as entrepreneurs.

Now, first things first. If you're feeling like you're drowning, you're falling, you're reactive, you're accelerated, own those feelings. Stop and understand that those feelings are real. Don't try to deny them and push them aside. The worst thing you can do when you're in one of those states is go head down, shoulder to the wheel, and just try and get things done. When we do that as entrepreneurs, we deny our feelings, we deny what's going on for ourselves, we try and just continue to work, which leads to more acceleration, more feelings of drowning, more feelings of reactivity. And this is true for us and true for the people around us.

And so for us, as entrepreneurs, who want to stay in momentum, who want to help people, who want to accomplish, who want to go out and make a difference, who want to make an impact, how do we do that when we're in this confusing a time and when we're in a time that gets us to this level of overwhelm, this level of reactivity? Well, I want to share with you the advice that we have, or that we share with our members. This is what I know Deanna shares with our members. I know she's going to share this podcast with our members. That's why she asked me to record it.

But let me give you just three places that we talk about in our membership. So one, and this is going to be counterintuitive, and here's why I say counterintuitive. When the world is on fire, when things are going crazy, when everything's happening around you, when it feels overwhelming and when it feels accelerated, self-care, taking care of yourself, is one of the last things we think of as entrepreneurs. In fact, when the world gets overwhelming, when things get accelerated, as entrepreneurs, the first thing we will stop doing is taking care of ourselves. The first thing that we will stop doing is making sure that we are okay, as entrepreneurs.

So I wrote down the top four things, just the four things that I think you should do as entrepreneurs. So, number one, if you're feeling like you're drowning, if you're feeling accelerated, if you're feeling reactive, the first thing I would say is move. Get up and move. The definition of the entrepreneurial personality type in the EPT book that I wrote is we are physiologically sensitive momentum-based beings that are highly reactive to constraint. And so if you're feeling like you're falling, if you're feeling that feeling of overwhelm in the moment, for any type of period of time, get up and walk around. Move. Go for a walk outside. Get into the fresh air. Get into a place where you're actually moving.

That bilateral stimulation of walking will slow things down, will help you process. While you're walking, breathe in and out exclusively through your nose. It will calm your nervous system, balance your CO2, get you out of fight or flight. See, if you walk and you breathe slowly in and out through your nose, you convince your body you are not in fight or flight, because you're in movement and you're breathing in a non-reactive, non-panicked way. And that will slow things down and calm things down for you. So that's first thing we tell our members.

Second is hydration. If you're feeling accelerated, reactive, stop and hyperhydrate. Drink a bunch of water. When you're drinking a lot of water, you have to step into the present moment. If you're chugging water, you have to stop in the present moment, hyperhydrating. If you don't, if you're distracted, if you're somewhere else, you'll choke on the water. You won't be able to get it down. It might be hard to drink it. But when you hyperhydrate, drink water all at once, in the next few seconds, you will find yourself decelerated and in the moment and right back in place. So the second thing we tell people about self-care is hydration.

And the third thing is breathe. I just mentioned this a little bit with the walk, but you can this at any time. If you feel accelerated, like you're drowning, if you feel like there's too much pressure going on, you're not able to focus, you don't know what to do next, stop and take several really deep breaths, in and out through your nose. And if you're so accelerated you can't take a deep breath, stop, sit back, and breathe in through your nose and out through your nose. As your lung expands and you're able to get in more oxygen and fill them more full, then let all the air out, then fill them again, as full as you can, like a lung expansion exercise. Each time, try and get a little more oxygen in and a little more in and a little more in, a little more air in, and you'll profuse more oxygen out of the air. And that will calm you down.

And then here's a big one. This is not an in the moment thing, but this is a preparing yourself every day thing. Put together a morning routine and follow it. Oh, I didn't mention it. On the water thing, if you don't drink a lot of water and you want to drink more water than you ever thought possible and do it in a way that's automatic and follows your own instincts, go to getthirstynow.com and check out our 10 day Natural Thirst Challenge. It'll help you do that.

And when it comes to a morning routine, I share this all the time, that, for me, since I was younger, I've always had a written morning routine. I just had a conversation with this about one of our members about having a written morning routine. And he said, "You're the first person who suggest I actually write it down on paper. And now that I'm making the check marks, I can feel the mornings get easier. I can feel my mind focusing on other things. I don't have the decision-making fatigue that I did before." Those four things, as far as self-care, will help you in times like this. And it is so hard to stop and do self-care. I know. I know how hard it is to even think about taking care of yourself, because when the world gets accelerated, it's the first thing we stop doing. But this is crucial. It's critical. And it will actually help in this situation and get you back in your body so you can focus and you can start moving things forward and get these feelings to subside, or go away completely.

Now, the second thing we coach our members to do, especially right now, is get your house in order. And here's what I mean by that. It's quite literal and it's figurative as well. Right now, take care of what you can. That means lower the pressure and noise around you. Look at the people, the places, the things in your life. And if they're not giving you momentum, they're taking it away, and ask yourself, do you really need to expose yourself to those things over and over again? You probably don't, especially the way the world is right now. There is enough pressure and noise out there. If we can do an inventory and say, "Hey, these are the things that are bothering me. These are the things that are frustrating me. These are the people, the places that trigger me, that I have a hard time with, that are making it so I'm more reactive," it is your responsibility, as an entrepreneur, to get those out of your life or minimize your exposure to them as much as you possibly can.

And then another thing about getting your house in order, right now is an ideal time to purge like crazy. I don't coach anyone to do anything I don't do myself. Katie and I actually took a day off yesterday. We cleaned out her garage. We've got a little bit more to do yet today. I took most of the day today and purged my entire office. I've got a ton of cabinets and drawers and shelves in here. I went through every single one of them, got rid of anything that I don't need anymore. And I was brutal. Like if I'm not using it now, if I didn't see a time where I was going to use it soon, I just got rid of it. I either gave it away, donated it, or threw it away, and cleaned out my office completely. I don't want any stuck energy around me. I don't want any old energy around me. And I don't want any unutilized things around me right now. Now's the time to really clear things out and streamline everything around you, including your environment. This is such a big deal, to streamline the environment, to lower the pressure and noise throughout your entire, your house, where you are, everything around you. Purge and get it out of there. And that means like go through and say, "Do I need this anymore? Is this something I'm going to use again? Is this something that I haven't looked at in five years and I probably never will again?" Man, there was so much of that in my office. And I just purged. I did this about a year and a half ago, and I realized even back then I hung onto stuff that I didn't need to. Maybe it wasn't a year and a half ago. Maybe nine months ago. I'm terrible with calendars. Somewhere between nine months and a year and a half ago. But I realized just how much I was hanging onto and I was able to jettison a ton of that today. And you know what's interesting? As you do this, as you purge, take a read on your physiology before and after. Yesterday, Katie and I spent the whole day cleaning the garage. You should be exhausted after that. I was a little bit tired yesterday, but you know what? I was tired with this feeling of clarity, this feeling of energy, this feeling of having like wiped away a lot of weight and a lot of excess. And it just felt incredible. If you've never done this, if you've never just gone through your property, through your house, through your apartment, through wherever you live, and purged everything that you don't need anymore, it will blow you away how much it will give back to you and how life-changing it is, especially in times like this. We're in a time where the world is going to give us enough to deal with. Let's get everything we don't need out of our way, both metaphorically and literally, so we can deal with everything that's going to come up and fortify ourselves for what's coming. And then here's the third big thing. The first one's self-care. The second one is get your house in order, lower the pressure and noise like crazy throughout your life. The people, the places, the things. And purge your property, where you live. Get your environment ready for this. And then the last one is a big one. Create clarity in your life as to where you are going. Here's what I want you to know. The world can be in crisis and you, as an entrepreneur, can be in momentum. I'm going to say it again. The world can be in crisis and you can be in momentum. In fact, let me say it more strongly. The world can be in crisis and you have the responsibility to be in momentum, especially as an entrepreneur. Why? Because crisis is what we are made for. This is a time where more people are in pain and frustrated and experiencing challenges and need help, need solutions, more than maybe any time I've ever been alive in history. Certainly more than the 47 years I've been on this planet. And so what does that mean? That means, as entrepreneurs, when the world is in crisis, the opportunity for us goes through the roof. When people are in pain and they need answers and they need solutions, that is what we do as entrepreneurs. So if we fortify ourselves, we can show up and make this happen. And so when I say create clarity, here's what I mean by that. If you don't have some type of a system through which you are planning the outcomes you want in your life, and then executing on your way to get there, that is what you need right now. And that's what we help people with. If you want to be able to do this, like clearly create a strategic plan for your business, for your life, for your relationship, and then be able to execute that plan so that while the world is in crisis, you can be in momentum, that's what we help with. So use our system. Come to us. Go to billionairecode.com and check out the Billionaire Code and set up a call with a member of my team. Let us show you how we do it. Or find somebody out there that can help you plan in a way that makes you comfortable. Because when the world is in crisis, that is when we need clear planning, clear structure, and routine. And here's what's interesting. Right now, the way that the world is creates massive anxiety and frustration and confusion. But here's what's also interesting. Process, structure, and routine alleviates and counteracts anxiety, frustration, and confusion. So the more process, structure, and routine you build into your life, the better this is going to go. That's why I mentioned a morning routine at the beginning of this podcast. That's why, when I talk about creating your outcomes, it's strategic planning, then pursuing that plan over time with perspective, and measuring how much closer you're getting, and understanding what you are achieving in the world today. That will change everything for you. And like I said, if you're interested in getting help with that, we can help you. If you go to billionairecode.com and jump on a call with a member of my team, we have programs for just about everyone out there if you're an entrepreneur running a business. That's who we work with. And understand that, right now, things are going to be energetically confusing and frustrating for a period of time. If you look at every indicator out there, like I mentioned earlier... I have talked to a lot of people that say really silly things. Like just watch, on November 5th, the coronavirus will disappear, like it's some political hoax. Or things are going to change the day that the election's over. Or anything like that right now. I think when you rationally look at the environment we're in, the political environment, the economic environment, the world environment, we need to understand that we are going to be in a period of frustration and confusion and intolerance and increasing challenges and increasing conflict for the foreseeable future. So the question is, how much can you ground yourself? How much can you become present? How much can you become aware? How much can you be in your body during this period of time? Because here's what I want you to know. In periods of confusion, frustration, and reactivity, the calmest entrepreneur in the room wins. In crisis, the calmest entrepreneur in the room wins. In periods of reactivity and periods of crisis, the calmest entrepreneur is the one that people turn to and will listen to. I want that to be you. And if you're leading a business, you owe it to yourself and to your team to do these things so that you can calm yourself and show up in a way that you can lead in a way that inspires and motivates and moves people in the direction that you want. Because remember, I'm going to say it over and over again, the world can be in crisis, we can be in momentum. The world can be in crisis. We have the responsibility to be in momentum. And so I know that this may be counterintuitive, that when things get overwhelming to stop and say, "I need to take care of myself. I need to get things out of my life and purge my environment. I need to make a strategic plan and start executing on a daily basis." But those three things are literally the three things that will help you get out of overwhelm, back into your body, and then back into momentum. Because for us, as entrepreneurs, we need momentum like the rest of the world needs oxygen. And when the pressure and noise in the world gets high, we need to lower the pressure and noise in our world so that we can create momentum and help the world overcome what's going on. Because what will get us through this crisis, and what has gotten us through every crisis in history is that entrepreneurs, just like you and I, will rise above the noise, identify an opportunity to make things better, grab hold of it, take it and get it into momentum and take the world with us. We need you to do that now, maybe more than we ever have. This is how you stop the feeling of drowning. This is how you get yourself back in momentum. And if you follow these things, not only will you get yourself back into momentum, but you'll stay there. Like I said, a couple of times, if you're interested in getting help with these things, if you'd like to get the process, structure, and routine already spelled out for entrepreneurs, in your personal life, in your relationships, and in your business that will get you into and keep you in momentum, go to billionairecode.com, answer a few questions from my team. You'll download a copy of the Billionaire Code, which is the nine level framework that we go through to go from zero to a hundred million dollars as entrepreneurs. And you'll be able to set up a call with my team and find out about our coaching memberships where we help entrepreneurs stop the feelings of overwhelm, get way back into the feelings of confidence, and get into and stay in momentum. Because that is where we are meant to be. That is who we are. And let's get real. Being in momentum and changing the world is our birthright. You know. You've thought about it since you were young, since you discovered you were an entrepreneur, since you felt that you couldn't turn it off anymore. It's different for all of us, but we all know that somewhere in our minds, we know we're meant to do more, to be more, to help more, to make a greater contribution and to make things better around us. And if you've always felt that way, let us help you. Go to billionairecode.com. Let us show you how to get into momentum, give you the process, structure, and routine that gets entrepreneurs there and keeps us there so that we can all make this world a better place. Thanks for being here with me and I hope you enjoy the rest of the day.

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