Momentum Podcast: 100
You Are Not Alone
by Alex Charfen
Every entrepreneur in history has felt alone. We have felt isolated, different, and even like a party of one. The systems and structures around us reinforce this feeling of isolation and being different.
I was so different when I was younger that I didn't even know how to access help. Instead of turning to the people around me, I obsessively read about successful people. I read hundreds then thousands of biographies, life histories, third-party accounts, and anything I could get my hands on that would show me how successful people, became successful.
I expected to find magic. People with abilities and skills that no one else had. People who were somehow gifted and able to create outcomes that the rest of us struggle to even fathom. I was sure that I would find some unique properties that these people had that made them who they were.
What I found was shocking.
Full Audio Transcript
Entrepreneurial Personality Type Podcast / Episode 100 / You are Not Alone
I'm Alex Charfen, and this is the Momentum Podcast made for empire builders, game changers, trailblazers, shot takers, record breakers, world makers, and creators of all kinds. Those among us who can't turn it off and don't know why anyone would want to. We challenge complacency, destroy apathy, and we are obsessed with creating momentum, so we can roll over bureaucracy and make our greatest contribution. Sure, we pay attention to their rules, but only so that we can bend them, break them, and rewrite them around our own will. We don't accept our destiny, we define it. We don't understand defeat because you only lose if you stop, and we don't know how. While the rest of the world strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo, we are the minority, the few who are willing to hallucinate there could be a better future, and instead of just daydreaming of what could be, we endure the vulnerability and exposure it takes to make it real. We are the evolutionary hunters, clearly the most important people in the world because entrepreneurs are the only source of consistent, positive, human evolution, and we always will be.
Welcome to the 100th episode of the Momentum Podcast for the entrepreneurial personality type. This one's called You Are Not Alone. Before I start, I just want to thank you. Thank you for being a listener, thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends. If you've subscribed, thank you for helping our numbers. If you've downloaded all of them, thank you for helping our statistics, and if you've left us a review I want you to know I got read them all the time and between you and I, I get emotional sometimes because this podcast has confirmed one thing for me, I am not alone.
And that's why I chose this subject for the 100th episode. Because when I was younger, I felt different. I felt alone. I felt like a party of one completely isolated from the people around me and I didn't even know how to access help. And I think every entrepreneur, every one of us, has felt that way at one point in time or another. We felt different, awkward, alone, like a party of one. And here's what I've realized through exhaustive research, and spending time around people like us, and having the privilege of being in front of, and with some of the most successful people in the world is that every single one of us has felt this way.
Isolated. Alone. Like we didn't have a tribe. And the fact is that these days, society has this twisted equation that if you don't look like everyone else, and talk like everyone else, and sound like everyone else, and show up like everyone else, then you're a broken person we need to diagnose, medicate, and fix somehow. But the fact is, throughout history what has been proven is the person that doesn't show up like everyone else, sound like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and learn like everyone else, is exactly the brilliant person that's going to change the world.
And so if you felt different, and isolated, and alone at any point in time in your life, I want you to know something, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not alone. See the challenge for people like us is, we don't get pushed together to make relationships. The kids who talk too much, and squirm too much, and disrupt the class, or what to do more, or want to make too many suggestions, they're separated. We're isolated. We're put by ourselves and it's very difficult to understand that there's other people out there that are just like us.
And when I was a kid I thought I was so fully, and totally separated from the rest of the world that I didn't think I would ever be able to find this elusive thing called success. So I started obsessively reading about success, reading personal development, reading you know the books that we all read as a young child. I was awkward to begin with, but when you start reading Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, [Bander 00:04:01] and Grindler, all when you're less than 10 years old, you become super awkward.
So, I assure you if you felt alone so did I. And when I read the first 10 books, they started conflicting with each other and arguing with each other, the first one was different than the third one, and the fifth one said I didn't need any of the other ones. And the eighth one invalidated the ninth one. And the tenth one said, the first three were invalidated. And it was, there was no way as a child for me to reconcile the level of incongruency I found in personal development.
So instead I started obsessively reading about successful people. And I went out looking for this elusive quality called, success. And I wanted to see the steps that people took, and the skills that they had, and the magical abilities that allowed them to do incredible things in the world, and here's what I found. The more I studied success, the more I went out looking for the people who had changed the world, the more I found people who were just like me.
Thomas Edison was sent home from school at five years old for being too slow and his mother had the wherewithal to tell him the note said that he was so special, he was too good for school. And he became Thomas Edison. Albert Einstein didn't know how to tie his shoes. Couldn't talk until he was four years old, failed algebra, and it was in algebra class that he actually came up with the theory of relatively. When he was looking at the clock, day dreaming, and considering what would happen if he had been ahead of the beam of light that had reflected time back to him? That was the basis for the theory of relativity.
Newton discovered gravity sitting under an apple tree when one hit him on the head. He realized that there was a force at play there. But what we don't know is that Newton was sitting under the apple tree because he was anti-social and had social anxiety disorder. At least today he'd be diagnosed with it. And he was alone. And the more you read history, the more you read about successful people, the more you look at the game changers, the world makers, the rule breakers, they were all just like us.
Different. And unique. And they didn't do things like everybody else did. And the fact is the rest of the world who's not an entrepreneurial personality type strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo. Everyone else wants to be like everyone else. And everyone else wants the world to stay like it is. But we are the small population that is unique, and different, and doesn't need to be, nor do we want to be, like everyone else. And we wake up every day not asking how do we keep everything the same, but instead asking how do we make this better? How do we make this more productive? How do we get more out of this? How do we move forward, faster? And how do we make the world a better place for else and everyone around us?
And I want you to know something, if you like me, have ever felt alone, and isolated, and different, every person in history that you remember, every person in history that matters to be remembered was just like us. And if you felt alone, and isolated, and different, like you didn't have a tribe, I want you to know that that is your tribe. That is who you are. That is your destiny because the fact that you felt isolated, and different, and alone indicates that you are one of us and you should be changing the world.
And it doesn't matter what diagnosis, or disorder, or issue, or illness or whatever you have going on today. One of us in history has had it, has dealt with it, has overcome it, and has gone on to change the world. People like us don't always look right, we don't always feel right, we don't always seem right to the rest of the world. Hellen Keller should not have been able to change the world for people with disabilities. She couldn't talk, she couldn't hear, she couldn't see. She's lucky she didn't end up at the bottom of a lake in a burlap sac with rocks. Instead, she was an evolutionary hunter with physical weaknesses, no question, but with the ability to overcome them, create momentum, and change the world, and you can too.
See, throughout history, there's been this small population that isn't content to sit still, that doesn't spend a lot of time in the present, that isn't okay with how things are going and instead wants to create momentum, go into the future, and create new outcomes, come back to the present and insist they become real, and make this world a better place.
And if you have ever had that quiet feeling in the back of your mind, that little voice that says, "You are meant for more, you can do more, you can be more, you can leave more behind, you can make this world a better place," I want you to know something, that voice is real. That is the voice of your destiny. That is the voice of who you are/. That is the voice of history calling you to ascend and become the person you should be. Because for everyone of us, there is a path that we can take to go and make our mark in this world, leave our dent in the universe. And if you're listening to this podcast, I want you to know something. The very fact that you are here confirms that you are destined for greatness because entrepreneurial personality types throughout history have felt just like you and I, and have gone on to change the world.
And this is my call to you to do the exact same thing. And throughout history, every great entrepreneur who's ever made a difference in the world has followed a simple path. It's a simple four step process called The Contribution Equation. This is what I've deduced from reading thousands of biographies, and life histories, and third party accounts, and information about people who've created success. They all did it the same way and I want you to do the same.
The first step is, you must lower pressure and noise in your life. Do everything you can to lower the noise, to make things easier, to make things easier on yourself. Get rid of the people, places and things that are raising pressure and noise in your life. If anything is causing you operational drag, commit to getting rid of it and move on. Go through your home and look at everything you have and ask yourself, "Does this bring me joy?" And if it doesn't, get rid of it, move on. Drop the operational drag. Lower pressure and noise. If you're not treating yourself like a professional athlete today, then commit to doing so. You are an evolutionary hunter, a physiologically sensitive, momentum-based being, that is highly reactive to constraint. Constraint of any kind.
So lower the noise in your live everywhere you possibly can. The second step is learn how to ask for protection and support. Now this is hard for people like us because we all know we need far more protection and support, far more help than the average person to reach our full destination to reach our full potential. But any request for protection and support makes us feel vulnerable and exposed, and I know how it feels.
But here's the fact, if you want to create the outcome in the world that you know you're capable of, then you must ask for protection and support. Because as entrepreneurs, we have strengths, we have skills, we have abilities, that should be protected and everywhere else we need support. I know I do. And when we transparently learn how to ask the people around us for protection and support, and tell them where we really are, and be real and honest, and upfront and tell them what's going on, we suddenly begin to get all the help we actually need.
And if you do these things, you lower the pressure and noise in your life, and you increase protection and support by transparently telling people what's going on, your skills and abilities will show. You will start to be able to do more. You will appear gifted. You will show up and be able to create new outcomes, and rally people to your cause, and grow your business, grow your income, grow your impact and make your greatest contribution because when we lower pressure and noise and we increase protection and support, we naturally become more gifted.
The fact is, when you look at any entrepreneur, even me, we've all had that moment where someone's asked us a question or we've replied to something, or we've said something in a conversation and we walk away thinking, "Where did that come from? How did I know that? How did I answer that? How did that happen?" See that's the magic of skills and abilities. When we do the right things, we just show up as more of who we want to be.
And then here's how it really works. If you lower pressure and noise, and you increase protection and support, transparently, none of that fake it until you make it crap, actually telling people what's going on, your skills and abilities will show. N the fourth step is, you can make your greatest contribution. And I want you to understand something about contribution in my language, the way I share it. I'm not talking about you going out and starting a charity, unless that's something you really want to do. I would recommend instead, you start a business. You can make far greater impact with a business than you can a charity, and you can grow it much faster, and much easier.
And the fact is, is that capital flows to contribution. So when I say make your greatest contribution, I want you to go out and build the largest organization you can with the biggest revenues you possibly can, with the massive profitability that you can put together because if you're doing those things, you are making an impact in the world because people spend money on what contributes to them. People spend money on what gives them momentum. People spend money on what improves their lives, and if you are doing those things, then you should end up with the most capital, and you will make the greatest contribution.
And so for any of us, who've ever felt like we're stuck or stopped and we can't move forward, this process will work. Lower pressure and noise. Increase protection and support. Let your strengths and abilities show, and go out and make your greatest contribution. And I want you to know something about this contribution equation. It balances, it's real. It actually works in the real world because if I lower pressure in noise, and I increase protection and support by asking you for help, you can do the same for me as long as you're following the same process. And when as entrepreneurial personality types, in our greater tribe, we all lower pressure and noise, increase protection and support, allow our strengths and abilities to show, and make our greatest contribution, we will shift the balance of power in the world back to those of us who are innovating, creating, and making new things happen.
We live in a world today that is in need of massive change. We have systems in the world that aren't in need of overhaul, they need to be torn down, back to the foundation, and rebuilt. We have different institutions in the world that just don't work anymore. And throughout history, there has been one source of correcting these issues of innovating, of change, of creating new outcomes in the world. That source is our tribe, the entrepreneurial personality type. Evolutionary hunters who are programed to get up every day, seek out momentum, create new outcomes, go on the hunt, and keep this human tribe alive.
I want to thank you for listening to this podcast and I want you to know, you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. And for this 100th episode, I just want to repeat that the biggest impact this podcast has had on me is letting me know I'm not alone. Your comments, your reviews, the sharing that's been happening on social media, the feedback that we've received directly, has all had a life changing affect on me. Because even when we started this podcast and we put the first episode out ... and I'll be honest, even as I push send on the 100th episode, I still wonder, is this the one no one's going to listen to? Is this the one that we're going to figure out that they really aren't like me? Is this the one where everyone's going to say, does he really know what he's talking about? And that hasn't happened.
Instead, with each episode we put out, as time has gone by more and more evolutionary hunters have risen to the call, have confirmed they are part of this tribe, have confirmed the content that we've put together and have said, I am an entrepreneurial personality type, I am a momentum-based being, and I am ready to go change the world.
So I want to thank you for being a listener and for being with us for the entrepreneurial ... for the Momentum Podcast for the entrepreneurial personality type. And I want to encourage you to follow the contribution equation. Lower pressure and noise, increase protection and support, allow your strengths and abilities to show, and go make your greatest contribution because when you do that, you don't just help yourself, you help every evolutionary hunter out there because we all help each other. And we will help the greater human tribe evolve, survive, and make things even better in the future.