Momentum Podcast: 106

Growing Your Business
Starts With You
With Jay Berube

by Alex Charfen

Episode Description

It is one of the last things we think about as entrepreneurs, when we are growing a business there is so much to focus on… Are we doing the right things, are we bringing in the right people, are we getting enough leads, are we taking the right steps to grow our business? One of the easiest ways to ensure we are doing all of these things, is to grow ourselves. When we put foundational processes in place that support us as an entrepreneur everything in our lives will start to move in the right direction. Jay Berube is a client and a friend of mine. He is also an amazingly aware entrepreneur. In this interview, he shares how he is creating momentum in all areas of life, by focusing on himself and his marriage. You will hear how putting focus on the right things has empowered Jay to do more than he ever thought he could.

Full Audio Transcript

I'm Alex Charfen, and this is the Momentum Podcast, made for empire builders, game changers, trailblazers, shot takers, record breakers, world makers, and creators of all kinds, those among us who can't turn it off and don't know why anyone would want to. We challenge complacency, destroy apathy, and we are obsessed with creating momentum so we can roll over bureaucracy and make our greatest contribution. Sure, we pay attention to their rules, but only so that we can bend them, break them, and rewrite them around our own will. We don't accept our destiny, we define it. We don't understand defeat because you only lose if you stop, and we don't know how. While the rest of the world strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo, we are the minority, the few who are willing to hallucinate there could be a better future. Instead of just daydreaming of what could be, we enter the vulnerability and exposure it takes to make it real. We are the evolutionary hunters, clearly the most important people in the world because entrepreneurs are the only source of consistent positive human evolution, and we always will be.

Welcome to Growing Your Business Starts With You. This is not intuitive for most entrepreneurs. We believe that if we want to grow our business, we have to go work on the business or in the business, or one of those cliché phrases people use. Are we getting enough leads? Are we doing enough? Are we marketing enough? Are we pushing enough? Are we bringing in the right people? Are we building the right team? One of the fastest ways to grow your business and ensure that it continues growing long-term is to grow yourself, put foundational keystone habits in place that will make you a stable, and successful, and momentum-based person. If you've listened to this podcast, to the first 100 and some episodes before this one, then you know that keystone habits are crucially important because if you've tried any of them like hydration, or planning, or offloading where you're uncomfortable, or anything that I've suggested in these, even the primal walk in the morning, you will find that everything in your life starts creating momentum. Everything in your life starts feeling like there's less resistance. Everything in your life starts feeling like there's less operational drag. That's exactly how it should be.

One of our clients, Jay Berube, he's just inspirational. He and his wife Jessica inspire me. They are an incredible couple. They care about each other. They align with each other. They spend time with each other. They are a real example of what it means to protect and support your spouse, and they are amazing parents. They have a couple of kids who they've adopted. Jessica is an advocate for adoption, and she does a lot of work for adoption. In getting to know Jay, I have just been blown away impressed with how seriously he takes being a husband, and how much thought he puts into being a father, and how much he cares about his wife and his kids, and what an incredible business he's running at the same time. This interview that I want to share with you that I did with Jay is insightful for all of us because Jay so eloquently describes that when you do the right things in your life, your business gets easier. When you do the right things in your marriage, your business gets easier. When you do the right things for yourself, your business gets easier.

Take a listen to this interview and pay attention to what it is that Jay's doing because these are simple processes, simple keystone habits you can put in your life and get massive results just like Jay. Jay, thanks so much for doing this, man. I appreciate you calling me even while you're driving.

Jay Berube: Yeah, no worries.

Alex Charfen: This is awesome. You're a huge part of the Grow and Scale program. I love having you in the group. This is for people who are considering joining the same Mastermind. Tell us a little bit about where you were before you joined, what do you do, and what you were doing before you joined.

Jay Berube: Yeah, sure thing. I have a real estate sales brokerage and then also a property management brokerage. I just kept hitting a glass ceiling for the past three years. We had spoken about it. It's just like I couldn't get through just a certain amount of production, and I just couldn't figure out why.

Alex Charfen: Feeling just stuck in place.

Jay Berube: Yeah, absolutely. Obviously very frustrating because I always felt like I was so much more.

Alex Charfen: How does it feel now that we've been working together for a while, Jay?

Jay Berube: I'll tell you what, honestly, these are the easiest questions for me to answer just because you take a holistic approach. I've been working on myself. I've been working on my marriage, which your stuff actually works for my marriage, which is really cool. You care, which is awesome because when we came to Austin, it's like, "Hey, Jay, you know what? We really want to get to the bottom of this. We really want to work on this because relationship is the most important." If you don't have your relationship, this is straight out of your mouth, you're not going to be able to get to where you want to be in a business.

Alex Charfen: Was that a new approach for you, Jay?

Jay Berube: Yeah. I used to just work, work, work, work. I'd say, "Family first. I'm all about my family," but my schedule did not show that.

Alex Charfen: Was it weird for you because you joined a program from Grow and Scale. Was it weird to be in a business Grow and Scale program and then almost immediately start addressing personal stuff, and stuff in the marriage, and really building the foundation?

Jay Berube: No, that wasn't tough for me because I think I just needed the prompt because I knew how important it was, and I knew where I was going. Where I was going was I kept pushing, pushing, pushing. I couldn't get anywhere. Then at the same time, my marriage, I'm not going to say it was suffering, but obviously it could've been a lot better.

Alex Charfen: Got it, got it. Give us some of the biggest realizations you've had or the biggest changes you made from being in the Grow and Scale program, Jay.

Jay Berube: Yeah, sure. There's a ton, and especially because you have all this content, and I'm the kind of guy, I don't space it out. I'm doing everything all at once. I've got my Vibrams. I've got my foot ball to roll my foot on, and my [inaudible 00:07:01], and my meditation thing. I went through and I blasted through all the content on the Grow and Scale, too. What was the question again?

Alex Charfen: What is the biggest change you've made? What's the biggest feeling change there is?

Jay Berube: [inaudible 00:07:23]. Number one, we realized that ... Can you hear me?

Alex Charfen: No. Okay, now we've got you.

Jay Berube: Okay. Hopefully he can cut all that.

Alex Charfen: Yeah.

Jay Berube: Systems are huge. I did not have the systems. It's one of the reasons why I kept hitting the glass ceiling. I just kept feeling frustrated because I didn't have the systems and infrastructure in place. I went through my company and I just rebuilt it all from the ground up, made sure I had the right people on the bus. Actually, I just hired two temps and a new assistant property manager because I wanted to get all this stuff blasted away. I didn't have any annual meetings, quarterly. Everybody was interrupting me whenever. I wasn't offloading things to people so I was doing everything on my own. I was micromanaging. You're talking about transformational leadership, which is completely different, like night and day. Trust me, don't get me wrong, I'm grinding it out. This hurts, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Alex Charfen: Yeah. When you say light at the end of the tunnel, Jay, are things getting easier or you?

Jay Berube: Not yet, but I'm at the cusp to where I know that they're going to be way easier for me because look, if you want things to get easier, you've got to put in the work. I had to put in the work. I was building the Empire State Building on top of a mud pile. Now what I did was I had to go 100 feet down into the ground and just get stable and have a secure environment, which is what I've been doing for a little while now. It's starting to look really nice.

Alex Charfen: Jay, you told me something when you were leaving Austin that meant a lot to me. You said, "You know, I think my marriage might be in the best place it's ever been." It surprised me because we're in a business course, and that's not the direct focus, but indirectly this program does help your marriage. You already said that. What did that mean when you told me that?

Jay Berube: You know what, that's actually the other thing I was going to mention, so I'm glad you brought that up. Before this, I never communicated with my wife about the business. It's crazy because she worked with me in the business for years, for six years. There was so much turmoil because I didn't communicate with her the goals. I didn't have her weigh in. What happened was I didn't know this because I probably should've sensed it, but I didn't know that since I wasn't communicating about it properly and we weren't having, as you call them, targeted interactions ... I take it the way with my wife as well, we meet now every morning. We meet in the evenings. We touch base. I check in with her on the goals so that she knows financially and business-wise how much time I'm putting in. When I'm putting in that time, if I'm not home, she knows what it's going to. We're just on the same page now, which is really awesome.

Alex Charfen: What has that done for you and Jessica, Jay?

Jay Berube: It's allowed us to have more time together. It's allowed us, when I need to work a Saturday or Sunday, to get that in without her being upset about it because she knows where it's going. Also, she's able to see the progress that we're making because I never did the type of business planning that you teach. For me the business plan is like, "Okay, these are the numbers I'm trying to hit. This is the stuff I'm going to do to get there." Your program is very much in depth to where since we're breaking it down to 90 days and 30 days, we're able to see these are the things we're tackling now. Then I revise it in the next 30 days and update it. Jessica's able to track that and be like, "Okay, this is where we're coming," and then she can chime in as far as, "Okay, maybe slow down," or, "How come you didn't get there?" She's on the same page.

Alex Charfen: When you were in Austin, I mentioned something to you. I said, "Jay, I think Jessica might be your secret weapon." Are you starting to see what I meant?

Jay Berube: Yeah, I am, I am. She's actually going to start doing some of these. She's very supportive, very, very supportive. I did tell you I had a really bad, depressed 2015. She was with me every step of the way, and it was tough. She's just so, so supportive. You know what, actually being able to appreciate my wife more since I've been in this for, I don't know, it's only been three months maybe, since I've been able to appreciate my wife more, I actually nominated her for an award through our local board of realtors with, I don't know, 1,000 or 1,500 agents. It's called the Pat Lord Service Award, and it goes to the person who gave the most in the past year, service-related. I just had a mind dump and I started crying, seriously, writing this fives pages of what she's done for adoption, for Chinese foster kids, for service projects after Hurricane Irma. At the end of it, I submitted it. She's being awarded. She's getting that award this week.

Alex Charfen: Does she know that?

Jay Berube: She knows I submitted it because I read it to her, but she doesn't know that she's going to get the award. She just knows she was nominated.

Alex Charfen: Oh, Jay, congratulations, man. That is so awesome.

Jay Berube: Thank you.

Alex Charfen: Yeah, man.

Jay Berube: I wouldn't have been able to appreciate her as much if I couldn't see clearly.

Alex Charfen: Yeah. The clarity this program has given you, it's not just clarity in business, it's clarity in life.

Jay Berube: Yeah, it definitely is with my relationship.

Alex Charfen: That's awesome, man. I appreciate it, Jay. If somebody's considering the program, is there anything else you'd tell them about the effect it's had on you, your family, your marriage, your business?

Jay Berube: Yeah, absolutely. If somebody obviously is the right fit for you, and you know that, that person, in my opinion, if they're like me, they have so much potential, but they're not around the right peer group. They don't have the right resources. They're kicking ass, but there's so much more. There's so much more out there, but you don't know. You don't know what you don't know. What I would say is for those people, if you feel like you have that potential and you know that you can skyrocket just with a little bit of a nudge, I'm really glad that I met you because honestly if I didn't, I'd be going through the same motions like a hamster on a wheel. That's not me, man, and I doubt that's any entrepreneur. The fact that I would have to do that even for more years, honestly, I'd live a shorter life. I know that I'm going to live longer because of Alex Charfen.

Alex Charfen: That's awesome, Jay. Dude, I appreciate you and Jessica so much. Thank you for doing this. It's awesome.

Jay Berube: Yeah, man. You got it, bud.

Alex Charfen: All right, brother. We'll see you soon, Jay.

Jay Berube: All right, see you, Alex.

Alex Charfen: Thanks, man.

Jay Berube: Bye now.

Alex Charfen: I hope you were as inspired by Jay as I am. Each time I listen to that interview, I pick something different up. What's so fantastic is that if you're in a marriage and you want your spouse to lean in and to help you, or you're in a relationship and you want your partner to help you to help you grow the business, to help you move forward, to understand where you're coming from, it takes communication. As you heard, Jay takes his business plan and he shares it with his wife, gets her input. How many entrepreneurs could benefit from doing that?

I share with entrepreneurs all the time, if you are married, there are two rules for the ultimate entrepreneurial success in business. One, your marriage is most important, and two, transparency in your marriage is absolute. If anything else happens, got back to rule number one because as entrepreneurs, we all know that our marriage is the most important relationship in our life. We try to deny it sometimes, especially when we're having conflict with our spouse, but it is the most important relationship in our lives. I love how Jay talked about how he and Jessica communicate and how she supports him. You can hear how important it is to him that she's there for him. If you are in a similar situation, communicating with your spouse may change everything about your business, and it may change everything about how you see what you do and who you are.

If you haven't yet, download a copy of the Entrepreneurial Personality Type book. Get a copy of the Entrepreneurial Personality Type book. Go to If you relate to these podcasts and to the information in them, the Entrepreneurial Personality Type will tell you more about yourself than anyone ever has.

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