Momentum Podcast: 370
Defending Brilliance: Be Glad You'Re Different
by Alex Charfen
Being different means you're not average. You're not like everyone else. There were times in my life when I thought why can't I just be like everyone else and fit in?
Today, I realize that those questions were not empowering and they were looking at the world in the wrong way. When you were younger you might have been told to sit down, stop moving, stop making everyone else uncomfortable.
When we grow that's exactly the evolutionary hunter in us that allows us to create businesses, make massive outcomes and change the world! If you feel that difference within yourself, I want you to understand that is what makes you brilliant, it is what makes you who you are and it's what's going to help you change the entire world.
Full Audio Transcript
Alex Charfen: This episode is directed at the younger evolutionary hunters who listen to my podcast. But I think it will be meaningful for EPT's of all ages. The theme is "Be glad you are different," and I have a very personal story to share with you, about exactly why.
This week was my birthday, and it was pretty extraordinary, and I'll give you some more information about that, I'll share a little bit more about that in a second. But first, I wanna give you my history of birthdays. When I was four years old, and my family lived in Mexico, my parents threw me a massive birthday party with hundreds of people. That's what you do in Mexico. We had this massive, massive celebration, and I ended up getting sick, and felt completely overwhelmed, and scared and awkward. And I still remember it today, even though I was four years old, I remember how uncomfortable I was at that party, how much I didn't wanna be there. How much I didn't really understand why I should enjoy it, and it was incredibly frustrating.
As a kid, from that point, I didn't really love birthdays. I didn't love the celebration, I didn't like being overwhelmed when everybody was singing. I didn't like having all these people around me. And so, I never really had parties as a kid, after that one. I had small parties, maybe a few people, or I didn't really have parties. I did something with my family, and it wasn't really something I got excited about. In fact, I avoided the parties, and the celebrations and all the attention, and all those things, for most of my life.
In fact, the first birthday I can remember actually enjoying was when I was 40. My wife threw me a surprise party, which, typically I would hate, but what happened was, she had all these people there, that I really wanted to be around, and that I really enjoyed being around. And here's why. Over time, here's what happened. When I was a kid, I was fundamentally different than everybody around me. I was the odd one in class, I was the one who thought differently, who asked questions that nobody asked. Who didn't really have an easy time making friends, in fact, I didn't really have a lot of friends growing up. Maybe one or two at any time, but not really close friends at all.
And it wasn't until I was after 20 years old, and in my 20's that I started building relationships in business, and meeting people, who I really related to. And really, in the past 15 years, since I was 30, is when I've really felt like I've started to understand who I am, and who I wanna be around, and what type of person I am. Then four or five years ago, I started writing the content on the Entrepreneurial Personality Type, and it defined who I am.
This week I had a birthday party at my house, and I'm 46, there was about 60 people here. And normally in a crowd like that, I'm incredibly unconformable, and other than the period where they were singing Happy Birthday to me, it was incredible. It was one of the most fun nights of my entire life. Here's why, because every person in the room was hand-picked by me, and every person in the room is just as different than I am.
And if you're younger, and you're having a hard time fitting in, or making friends, or understanding social situations, or you just feel fundamentally different, I have news for you, congratulations. There were times in my life, where I would think to myself, "Why can't I be like everybody else? Why can't I just have friends like everyone else? Why can't I just fit in like everyone else?" And today, I realized, that those questions were not only not empowering, but they were just looking at the world in the wrong way. And today I have perspective that I can share with you.
See, being different means you're not average, you're not like everyone else. The rest of the world is literally waiting for the time where they don't have to do anything. And people like us get up everyday, and wanna do something. That's why, when we're younger, we feel so different from everyone else around us. We're always being told to, "Sit down, stop moving, stop making everyone else uncomfortable." But when we grow, that's exactly the evolutionary hunter in us, that allows us to create businesses, build teams, make massive outcomes, and change the world.
This week for me was so incredibly confirming, because the people who were here at my home, the people who were here to be with me, I felt so comfortable around them, and here's why. They are all just like us. They are all motivated and driven and changing the world, and doing things to make things happen in the world. They're excited about who they are, and they're excited about what they're creating, and that's part of the reason I was so comfortable this week.
And so, if you feel that separation, that difference, here's what I want you to understand. That is what makes you brilliant, that is what makes you who you are. That is what's going to help you change the entire world, because that lens you have of feeling different, that experience you have of not fitting in, makes you one of the few people who's going to change everything, because here's the equation society has today, that is so wrong. That if you don't show up like everyone else, act like everyone else, talk like everyone else, learn at the same pace as everyone else, you are a broken person, that needs to be medicated, diagnosed and fixed. But history proves, that if you don't act like everyone else, show up like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and learn at the same rate as everyone else, you are exactly the brilliant person who is meant to change the world.
Einstein didn't speak until he was four, Edison was sent home from shool for being slow, Pythagoras was killed ... he was actually taken to his death, because he was too stubborn to admit that he might be wrong, because he wasn't. And Newton discovered the gravity sitting under the apple tree, imagining what would happen if one hit him in the head. And what we don't talk about, was that he was under the apple tree alone, because he was anti-social and awkward and completely different.
And so, if you are different, and you feel isolated and alone, and a party of one, I want you to know, I am here for you. And there's an entire tribe of entrepreneurial personality types out there for you. That throughout history, have overcome the feeling of isolation, the feeling of being different, and have gone on to use that feeling, that view of the world, that difference that we have, to go out and change everything. And you can too.
And one last thing. It doesn't matter what anybody said about you, it doesn't matter what disorder you have, what disability you've been told you have, what issue or challenge or diagnosis you are facing, someone who is just like us, has been there, and has gone on to change the world.
This weekend I had a conversation with two of my friends, and I shared last night about it. Jon Morrow and Sean Stephenson. Jon can't move anything but his face, Sean's three foot tall. And we had this conversation about abilities and disabilities, and Sean said, "Any disability you have, creates and equal and opposite ability." And it's so true. So it doesn't matter what anyone has said is wrong with you, that is the brilliance that is going to allow you to go out and change the world. So lean in, and understand it's okay to be different, and understand that any attempt to be anything other than exactly who you are, will only cause you pressure and noise. And it's taken me way too long to figure this out.
In the past few years, I've given up trying to be anything other than myself. I wear exactly what I want, I say exactly what I want, I share content in a way that is absolutely me. I speak at multimillion dollar conferences, for financial companies. I spoke at a conference for a billion dollar financial company, and I wore a T-shirt, because it makes me comfortable, and they all gave me a standing ovation.
In the past few years, I've decided, I'm only gonna do what I want, and I'm only gonna do things in the way that I want to do them, and that's when my success has gone through the roof. You don't have to wait until your 40's, you can start now. Don't let anyone tell you you need to be different, don't let anyone get in your way. Don't let anyone suppress your brilliance, because it's exactly what makes you different. It's what makes you stand out, it's what makes you feel separate and alone, that it's exactly what's going to allow you to change the world. And at 46 years old, I have the perspective to tell you exactly that.
A lot of my life, I tried to be somebody else, and ever since I gave that up, and decided to be exactly who I am, I've felt more momentum, than I ever thought possible. And I want the same for you.
If you haven't yet, download ... or not download, if you haven't yet, go get a copy of my book, The Entrepreneurial Personality Type. It defines people like us, it will explain our personality type to you, and show you how to do three things. One, stop limiting behavior, two, understand yourself better than you ever have before, and three, create unlimited momentum on demand. It doesn't matter what age, what part of your career you're in, what part of school you're in, what you're dealing with right now. That book will help you understand why people like us, are how we are, and how you can create momentum. And don't let anyone tell you, that it has to be temporary, because momentum is a state of life for people like us. When we are in momentum, that is when we the most alive. And if you go get a copy of my book, it'll show you exactly how to get there.
Go to freemomentumbook.com. Get a copy of the Entrepreneurial Personality Type, and let me know what you think.
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